The sun is getting to bed early today, i can feel the north wind rushing behind her. I look down at my phone, “uhg, late again.” My father was a cruel man when angered, and i am apparently good at getting him mad. It’s not like i can help it, the town is so far away and it’s hard navigating through the forest. You see we live in the middle of nowhere, in a house half falling down, moss growing up the side with a tree thinking our back porch is a good place to grow. At least we have a house. My mother died a long time ago, my dad and mine’s relationship has been stagnant ever since. He hates me, but i hate him so i guess it makes things even.
“Get your butt in here!” he is always yelling. I never bother answering him anymore, especially when i can smell the alcohol on his breath. Instead i walk right on by, an straight to my bedroom. I can feel his body follow me, so i turn around only to get punched. PUNCHED for no Goddamn reason!
I’m so sick of this! Maybe i’m just sick of myself. I can’t tell anymore, but i can tell that i need out. “Im done, im done with you! I’m Done with this house! I’m done not saying or doing anything about what you do to me!” I’m sick of living in a martial environment and feeling like any move i make is determining how many bruises i get.
Unrealizing what the heck i was actually doing, i ran out the door right passed him into the darkened woods. I ran and ran and ran, tripping over sticks and thorn bushes. I don’t remember ever going this way but i don’t care. “Awww!”
I looked down at my arm, blood is now dripping on my cloths from the scratches i been getting going through the thorn bushes. I fell to the ground sobbing and screaming at the world. “I Hate you!”
The trees are laughing, and the moon is approaching only to hide behind the incoming clouds.
It’s cold. So…. cold.
I sat down and leaned back and could feel the bark against my shoulder blades and the soft dirt and grass getting under my fingernails. “I really miss you, mom.”
I don’t remember falling asleep but i remember the sound that woke me up oh so perfectly. It was distant but loud. I thought if i’d stay low and quiet then it would go away and i would be fine. I waited, but the sound grew closer and closer. I panicked, i assume as anyone in my shoes would do, and got up. I looked around, everything seems so weird for this is the first time i have seen any of this terrain in daylight. It was there! A big brown bear standing maybe 100ft away from me snarling and growling. You can’t outrun a bear.
What else was i supposed to do? You can call me an idiot later but i guarantee if you were in my shoes you would do the same thing.
I ran in the opposite direction to a tree and i just climbed until i could climb no higher. I looked down and there it was right under my feet. So many thoughts are rushing through my head. “I’m so sorry dad, i’m just so sorry.” left my phone at the house, there is nobody around to even bother calling for help, and i am stuck in a tree. I look down at the bear. It roars throwing its saliva around, i almost gag from its foul breath. It reaches up, i glance at its claws. I can see hints of dried blood from its last victim on the tips of it’s fur, and bits of gravel and grass under the claws. I scream for help one time and wait, pulling my feet up so the bear can’t touch them. I look around, nobody is around. Nobody would come anyway.
People do strange things when in panic mode. Why i thought my next move was a good idea, i really don’t know. I reach up, still trying to stay away from the enormous bear, and grab a branch. I hit the bear right in face but it did nothing, but make it even more mad. I threw the branch and began to focus on breathing.
Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. Though the bear was still snarling and growling, for a moment or two, it felt silent. It felt peaceful and silent. I closed my eyes and listened to my own thoughts.
Its an interesting feeling being hopeless, knowing that there is no way out of this situation. Everything you ever feared gets thrown out the door, because nothing matters when you are staring death right in the face. Why did i run away? I mean i know why, but, oh i don’t know. I Hope he finds me. I hope he blames himself. No i don’t, what am i thinking. Maybe i should try to jump to the next tree. Maybe i should scream in hopes somebody will hear me. Maybe everything happens for a reason. Maybe i should be thanking the bear for giving me this opportunity. This opportunity to see my mom again, and this opportunity to finally be truly done with everything.
The bear hopped down, and backed up, and for a moment, i thought i would be safe. Then the next moment everything changed. The damn bear gave a running start and up the tree it began to climb. Throwing its weight around like a freight train rolling off the rails. It grabbed me, and pulled me down. I remember the filthy claws digging into my skin, and sound of its long blood stained teeth scraping against my bones. It took an eternity in pain, and then i was gone. “Thank you bear.”